"So yeah," Puncshal was explaining to Anna in the coffeehouse's doorway, "first I had the sparkling cider adventure, then guess what happened when I actually managed to get out of the house? I opened the car door and a can of bug spray I had left on the seat fell out, but fell under my car--I couldn't reach it. I figured if I just drove forward a little it'd roll to the curb, but I ended up running over it, and so then of course I had to go find a dumpster for this crushed can of weird chemicals."
"So that's why you're late," Anna finished for him. She'd been elected to meet him before the rest so that she'd get the long story.
"I mean, it could happen to anyone." He glanced at the table where the rest of his fellow travellers--all but Cactus--were lounging. "What task has been handed to me in absentia tonight?"
Anna shot a quick look over to where Cactus was chatting animatedly with the coffeehouse's owner. "I think we want you to play dead, but our desert flower's going to have to explain why."
---
"Look. I swear we're not asking for much."
"You're asking to throw a party for a dead person in my coffeehouse." It seemed as Beth thought her customer hadn't heard what he was looking to get permission for.
"Someone not really dead! Honest!"
"Suit yourself."
Cactus felt she was missing the brilliance of the plan. "Don't you see? A living wake. A big party where the guest of honor is still around to enjoy it."
"But why do you want to hold this morbid little soiree here? Don't wakes usually involve alcohol? I don't serve alcohol; I never will."
"Oh, Media Vita is the perfect place. For one thing, we're all here on Wednesdays anyway. For another, you've got the decor." His gesture took in the church pews, the gargoyles, the lifesize avenging angel painting. "It's in your very name. I know where you got it--I own that Anuna CD too. 'Media vita something-something-in-Latin': "In the midst of life there is death.' See? The idea could really take off, and then Wednesdays, which are such dead nights for you--excuse the pun--could become huge."
She set her mouth like she'd just swallowed something unspeakably noxious. But Cactus had a look in his eyes he'd learned from his golden retriever. Not many could withstand this assault, and he knew Beth wasn't one of them.
"Fine. Next month, Wake Night. All yours. But it's still morbid. Who'll be the lucky stiff?"
Cactus waved cheerily at Puncshal who'd been staring at him for the last several minutes. "I've got it covered. For showing up at 9 when he was due here at 7, he was a dead man anyway."